check the local domestic dress code before making pancakes for your boyfriend’s son

Caren MacDonald testifies at her trial on felony charges of interfering with custody and a misdemeanor charge of violating a restraining order, following her abduction of her son from the custody of his father:

[T]he mother charged with snatching her 11-year-old son and fleeing the country told a judge Monday that she feared her gay ex-husband was trying to ”turn” their son gay….

[Caren] MacDonald…described for the jury how her son told her about a man in his father’s home cooking pancakes for breakfast while wearing pajamas.

At first, her son liked [his] father’s lover, Carlos Diaz, MacDonald testified. But she said that later, her son told her that he hated Diaz and that Diaz had massaged him on his buttocks several times…

[A] courtroom guardian for the boy in 2001 recommended that Diaz not have contact with the boy — but also suggested that the the boy spend more time with his father than with his mother.

Investigators could not substantiate her allegations, and…[c]ustody decisions continued to go in the boy’s father’s favor. A court-appointed psychologist described Caren MacDonald as ”mentally undone, delusional, bipolar, just about every mental illness in the book,” she said skeptically on the stand.

Ultimately, the judge ordered her to have no physical contact with her son….

The boy…testified last week that his mother forced him to lie about being molested because she felt it was unfair that he lived with his dad. He said the only touching involved a shoulder rub he asked for from his dad’s partner.

reported by Amy Sherman in the Miami Herald

jackboots in Jacksonville? it can’t happen here! teacher’s assistant manhandled by Homeland Security

News4Jax, a Jacksonville, FL, television station, reports:

Leander Pickett, a teacher’s assistant at Englewood Elementary, said he was manhandled and handcuffed by two plain clothed Homeland Security officers in front of the school Tuesday for no reason at all….[A]s Pickett was directing bus traffic, he said he was handcuffed and roughed up and humiliated…

“I walked up to him and said, ‘Sir, you need to move.’ That’s when he said ‘I’m a police officer. I’m with Homeland Security … I’ll move it when I want to.’ That’s when he started grabbing me on my arm,” Pickett said….

Several people were outside of the school, watching the incident take place, and those witnesses agree with Pickett’s story.

OK, the graphic is a bit of a stretch, but I couldn’t resist. The only attribution I have for it is hackthissite.org. If you have a better one, please let me know.

video report, News4Jax.com

in memory of Ahmed Khalil, murdered at 14 by Iraqi police for accusations of gay sex

I have to admit I’d kept the case of a brutal murder of a fourteen-year-old Iraqi boy – one of many out of the carnage in Iraq – out of my mind and my heart until I stumbled across an impassioned (and occasionally politically incorrect) reflection on the crime by Brandon K. Thorp at Mogenic (excerpted below):

But if we don’t intend to chop the balls off the evil men of the world and stick them on an island where they won’t shoot anymore children, we had better start getting serious about some of our other options.

Here’s one: When you have children, and your children ask you about the Will of God, do not lie to them. Don’t tell them that you know, because you don’t. Even if you think you know, you have no way of knowing that you know, and you shouldn’t try to pretend otherwise. When your children ask you about the Will of God, tell them this: “Nobody knows, and anyone who claims to know the Will of God is a Nazi, and likely to murder children. If anyone ever tells you they know the Will of God, run away. People who think they know the Will of God are the most dangerous people in the world.”

Jerome Taylor’s reporting on the case in The Independent may be found at Common Dreams.
edit: Brandon K. Thorp’s commentary is apparently no longer available online.

another view of the Justin Berry case

A guest has commented on the Justin Berry post of last December:

Suggesting that [Berry] is a victim is a slap in the face to real victims everywhere. He made money from his pornography sites by making adults think he was 18, and now he is making money from his appearances on shows like Oprah. Would this have had the same response had he been a 16 year old girl that filmed herself and put the videos online? Would her adult viewers have been called pedophiles?

He has also provided this alternate view, by John Farmer at Mogenic, of both Berry’s career to date and the media response to it.

(1) gender dysphoria (imposed) and (2) transgender identity in the very young

When David Reimer shot and killed himself at age 38, it was the spectacularly tragic end of a well-meant but infamous experiment in the “plasticity” of gender identity in the young. (Purists may note that the mortal consequences for David and his entire family were not directly visited on the hubristic actor in this case, Dr. John Money, erstwhile champion of infant sex assignment through surgery and socialization.) As John Colapinto points out in his reflections on David’s death published on Slate (June 3, 2004, 3:58 PM ET), there were certainly other contributing factors in the Reimer family history, but the mere facts of the experiment were such as might have driven anyone to despair.

My recent acquaintance with the Reimer case was occasioned by Graeme’s posts at DeweyWriter.com, including information on a BBC documentary on the experiment and its aftermath, and transcribing a fascinating (in context) article on transgender identity in children – some as young as 18 months – published in a very mainstream Australian parenting magazine. Thanks to Graeme for his alerts and his labor.

There’s some redundancy in the links posted here, but also some interesting variations in the facts of David Reimer’s life. The first link, to Wikipedia, ends with a brief discussion of the clinical and social impact of the Reimer/Money affair; the BBC page links further to a transcript of the documentary.

photo of David Reimer by Reuters

“Youth in the Crosshairs: the Third Wave of Ex-Gay Activism” targets children as young as 5 years old

Whether through ex-gay teen programs or traveling ex-gay conferences like Focus on the Family’s Love Won Out ex-gay programs are recommending that parents commit their children to treatment of “prehomosexuality” even if it is against their children’s wishes. Heterosexual youth are also being recruited in schools and churches to spread the message that homosexuality is a treatable mental illness.“One of the most disturbing accounts in this report is a case involving a 5-year-old boy who was subjected to conversion therapy to address ‘prehomosexuality.’ The case involves a psychologist who claims that his theories and treatments are scientific,” said study co-author Jason Cianciotto, the [National Gay and Lesbian Task Force] Policy Institute’s research director. “To the contrary, conversion therapy is opposed by nearly every medical and mental health professional association, including the American Academy of Pediatrics….Tragically, ex-gay and evangelical Christian right leaders are using bogus theories and discredited research to frighten parents into doing something more likely to harm than help their children.”

The Policy Institute’s full report (78 pages not including the back matter and including a nine-page “executive summary”) is downloadable as a PDF. The same page also offers an mp3 version. For a shorter summary, see the Institute’s press release, quoted above (emphasis added).

drugging kids for hyperactivity skyrockets in the US, is on the rise elsewhere

Nearly 4 million Americans, most of them children and young adults, are being prescribed amphetamine-like stimulants to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Up to a million more may be taking the drugs illegally.Now, amid reports of rare but serious side effects, leading researchers and doctors are calling for a review of the way ADHD is dealt with. Many prescriptions are being written by family doctors with little expertise in diagnosing ADHD, raising doubts about how many people on these stimulants really need them. Just as worrying, large numbers of children who do have ADHD are going undiagnosed.

Both trends could lead to problems with drug dependency, argue specialists in addiction.

This report by Peter Aldous continues at NewScientist.com: “Prescribing of Hyperactivity Drugs Is Out of Control” (31 March 2006)

war on gay marriage, civil unions, domestic partnerships imperils legal protections for abused women

During the 2004 presidential elections, 11 states put same-sex marriage amendment bans on their ballots, including Ohio, where registered voters ultimately decided to alter their state’s constitution. By endorsing the Defense of Marriage Act, Ohio took a clear stance against legalized civil unions and domestic partner benefits for same sex-couples. [The Ohio amendment] was sold overwhelmingly to voters as pertaining only to same-sex marriage. As Ohio has quickly learned, however, bans that are meant for limiting one specific act can have spillover effects that reach far beyond the intended target.Ohio’s ban went on to forbid government bodies from recognizing the legal status of any unmarried couples living together, which has caused a sticky quagmire for judges trying domestic abuse cases.

[emphases added]

For more on how the attack on gay marriage, civil unions and domestic partnerships is impeding the ability of domestic abuse victims – mostly women in heterosexual relationships – from seeking protection by the courts, see the rest of Larissa Theodore’s article in the Beaver County Times & Allegheny Times: “Ohio marriage law created legal quagmire” (02/13/2006).

Homegrown Internet Pornography: Children as “Camwhores”

The 13-year-old boy sat in his California home, eyes fixed on a computer screen. He had never run with the popular crowd and long ago had turned to the Internet for the friends he craved. But on this day, Justin Berry’s fascination with cyberspace would change his life.Weeks before, Justin had hooked up a Web camera to his computer, hoping to use it to meet other teenagers online. Instead, he heard only from men who chatted with him by instant message as they watched his image on the Internet. To Justin, they seemed just like friends, ready with compliments and always offering gifts.

Now, on an afternoon in 2000, one member of his audience sent a proposal: he would pay Justin $50 to sit bare-chested in front of his Webcam for three minutes. The man explained that Justin could receive the money instantly and helped him open an account on PayPal.com, an online payment system.

“I figured, I took off my shirt at the pool for nothing,” he said recently. “So, I was kind of like, what’s the difference?”

For more, read the New York Times article by Kurt Eichenwald that is the source of the text above (19 December 2005, A1).

edit, 4/23/06: This Times article is now archived (meaning no longer available free online directly through nytimes.com except to TimesSelect online subscribers). However, subsequent attention to this story, including by Oprah Winfrey, has given it some traction, and you may find it available (along with links to Winfrey’s site and to other media coverage and metacoverage) through the source notes for the Wikipedia article on Justin Berry.

8-yr-old charged with sex crime after abuse by sitter

(KUTV) SALT LAKE CITY, Utah A mother is upset after a 14-year-old babysitter engaged in sexual conduct with her eight-year-old boy, and the eight-year-old was charged with lewd conduct.

Prosecutors have since dropped the charges against the boy, but his mother is still concerned.

The sexual conduct occurred during a game of “truth or dare” while the boy was being watched by the babysitter.

Prosecutors say that, while the babysitter initiated the contact, the young boy was a willing participant.

suffer the little children: no baptism if parents are gay

A Roman Catholic cardinal says children of gay parents cannot be baptized.

OK, it seems to me that the mind of anyone who is at all familiar with the gospels turns immediately to:
————
And they brought young children to him, that he should touch them: and [his] disciples rebuked those that brought [them]. But when Jesus saw [it], he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein.
(Mark 10:13-15)
————
Well, looks like some of today’s would-be disciples are still in the rebuking business.

“Suffer the little children”, indeed! “Forbid them not”…unless you don’t like what their parents are doing or saying.

Best to all,
M.

p.s. As you might suppose, in general I would oppose infant baptism in the first place. But practically speaking, having been raised Catholic, I know that if any of these kids are allowed into Catholic schools, their not being baptized will just be one more damn thing they shouldn’t have to deal with.

Zach’s father speaks out

Well, damned if I ever thought I’d post a link to the Christian Broadcasting Network, but Joe Stark, father of Zach (yes, that’s his real name, apparently), is defending his parental choices there.

Best to all,
M.

man beats 3-year-old son to death because “he might be gay”

Thought Toddler Gay, Dad Kills Son
by Fidel Ortega 365Gay.com Miami Bureau
Posted: July 14, 2005 12:01 am ET
©365Gay.com 2005

(Tampa, Florida) A 21 year old Tampa man is charged with murder after his 3-year old son was pummeled into unconsciousness and then died.

Ronnie Paris Jr. went on trial for his own life this week in a Tampa courtroom. The toddler’s mother, Nysheerah Paris, testified that her husband thought the boy might be gay and would force him to box.

Nysheerah Paris told the court that Paris would make the boy fight with him, slapping the child in the head until he cried or wet himself. She said that on one occasion Paris slammed the child against a wall because he was vomiting.

The court was told there had been a history of abuse by Paris. Prosecutor Jalal Harb said that in 2002, the Florida Department of Children & Families placed the child in protective custody after he had been admitted to the hospital several times for vomiting.

He was returned to his parents Dec. 14. A month later he went into a coma and was rushed to hospital. Six days later he was removed from life support and died. An autopsy showed there was swelling on both sides of his brain.

“He was trying to teach him how to fight,” Nysheerah Paris’ sister, Shanita Powell told the court. “He was concerned that the child might be gay.”

Following the child’s death Tampa police Detective Anthony Zambito thought there was something suspicious. He testified that he questioned both parents closely at the hospital. But it wasn’t until investigators questioned them separately Feb. 1 that the boy’s mother talked about the abuse.

Paris was charged with capital murder and Nysheerah Paris was charged with felony child neglect and faces a maximum of 15 years in prison.

edit, 7/15/05: The trial was short, and Ronnie Paris, Jr., was convicted of second-degree murder.

Tennessee still investigating Love in Action

OK, here’s a bit of an update on Love in Action. The state of Tennessee is continuing to scrutinize the program, now on the basis of whether they are purporting to provide professional counseling services, and if so whether the services are effective and/or need to be licensed, as reported in The Washington Blade.

The article also discusses the debate over “reparative therapy”, and how even some of its advocates advise against imposing it on teenagers, on grounds of both effectiveness and ethics.

Some issues actually most germane to “Zach’s” case are discussed at the end of the article:

Shannon Mintner, a lawyer with the National Center for Lesbian Rights, has worked on hundreds of cases in which teens are forced into various types of treatment scenarios because their parents disapprove of their sexual orientation.

Mintner first became aware of this phenomenon when he was contacted by a teenage girl who had escaped from a psychiatric facility where she was undergoing forced treatment for lesbianism. Mintner was able to help the girl find an adoptive home with a San Francisco lesbian couple.

Mintner said that Love in Action’s attempt to reorient kids is unique only in that they are so open about what they are trying to do.

In 1995, Mintner was involved in a case in Memphis in which the group Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays helped a 16-year-old gay male seek emancipation from his parents because they were forcing him to attend reorientation counseling with a Memphis psychologist, Dr. Duff Wright, and planned to send him to either Love in Action, or another similar program.

Minter said that the Memphis Circuit Court judge agreed that the boy would be harmed by this treatment and indicated that he would sign the emancipation order. In a settlement agreement, the parents abandoned plans to send the boy to reorientation treatment.

In April, the Tennessee Department of Health permanently revoked Dr. Duff Wright’s license to practice as a psychologist, due to alleged ethics violations.

Mintner said that while he has been able to help young people on a case-by-case level, “What we have not yet been able to find a way to do is to develop a systemic response that would get at the heart of the issue.”

Discussion of Love in Action has permeated the Memphis media in recent weeks and Alex Polotsky of the Queer Action Coalition said that the group will continue its campaign of demonstrations against Love in Action.

“We want every person in America to know about this. No reasonable sane person would support this program,” he said.

Twenty-one-year-old J.M., who spoke on condition on anonymity, said that he was sent to Love in Action by his parents at the recommendation of a Christian counselor when he was 17.

“The place was like a Nazi camp. I lost faith in God, friends, family.”

J.M. said he is glad that Love in Action has come into the spotlight.

“I am optimistic for some point in the future, I’ve lived for brief periods in New York, New Jersey, Philly. They are not as close-minded about this; it is not as cruel,” he said.

more on Tennessee’s investigation of Love In Action

Here’s an update from the Associated Press on Tennessee Child Services’ investigation of Love in Action’s “Refuge” program. The state did not find evidence of psychological abuse, as legally defined, in the program. Given their pronouncements about the legal strictures as they began their investigation, the result is not surprising.

Best to all,
M.

“I would rather you commit suicide”: brainwashing gay teenagers (2)

I’ve been following the story of “Zach”, a gay teenager in Memphis whose parents have put him into a program that’s supposed to turn him straight, or desexualize him, or something. (Typically such programs hold out the promise of “converting” from homosexuality; typically their effect, if any, is simply to suppress someone’s sexuality entirely.)

The latest news, as reported at washingtonblade.com is that Tennessee Child Services is looking into (at least) licensing issues connected with the “Love in Action/Refuge” program, in the face of allegations of child (emotional) abuse following Zach’s blog entries as he faced going into the program.

Best to all,
M.

“I would rather you commit suicide”: brainwashing gay teenagers

For those of you who are unaware, here’s an introduction to the plight of “Zach”, a 16-year-old gay teenager whose parents have committed him to a Christian gay conversion program.

John Smid, director of “Love In Action”, has been quoted as saying, as part of what is called a “Final Indoctrination” from the program, “I would rather you commit suicide than have you leave Love In Action wanting to return to the gay lifestyle. In a physical death you could still have a spiritual resurrection; whereas, returning to homosexuality you are yielding yourself to a spiritual death from which there is no recovery.”

Zach asked a friend to publicize his situation, and also documented details of the program through his blog. There has since been agitation against Love in Action. There are at least two (naïvely earnest) online petitions to “Free/Save Zach”, one directed to the U.S. Congress, and one, interestingly, to “The Christian Church”.

You can find more details and commentary at PlanetOut.com.

Best to all,
M.

edit 2007-10-02: The widely-circulated quote I’ve used as a title is disputed by John Smid. The best authentication of it I’ve found online is anecdotal; its publication in the SF Weekly* precedes the Zach controversy by some ten years:

Also unable to kick his sexual appetite, Tom Ottosen, 25, plunged into a suicidal depression toward the end of his second year at Love in Action in 1993. Months earlier, Ottosen’s house leader had attempted to kill himself by swallowing an assortment of pills. Rushed to the hospital, the man lived but never returned to the ministry.

After a secret lunch-hour visit to a pro-gay counseling group in Marin, a guilt-stricken Ottosen confessed his waywardness to Smid, Love in Action’s director. As the two sat alone in a small bedroom, Ottosen told Smid of his feelings of suicide. “I wasn’t surprised at what John said. Almost word for word, he said he’d rather have me commit suicide than go back to the gay lifestyle,” recounts Ottosen. “He said if I committed suicide, I could at least save myself spiritually. That was the final icebreaker for me.”

Smid denies he encouraged the resident to kill himself. “I said he had to commit to the Lord,” the director says, “and it isn’t a good thing to walk outside what God tells you to do.”

* “Rear Window” by Vince Bielski and Marta Sanchez-Beswick Published: March 1, 1995

panic, the body, and the mind

Posted by mf on the original home for this blog:

I’ve never had [a panic attack], though i know of one time where i was badly overcome by a situation and needed to get away from where I was (in a lecture) – interestingly, that was what prompted me to go back to my martial arts training (which I’d stopped for a few years) and I’ve never looked back since.

Confidence, regular training and learning about your body does wonders.

Thanks, M! You’ve touched on an area I’ve been ignoring here, probably because I’ve been ignoring it (or at least giving it short shrift) in my life for too long (about a year).

You’re absolutely right about how paying attention to, taking care of and challenging the body can clear away a lot of the mental debris. That’s one more thing I need to build back into my life, and I know I’ll be glad when I’ve done it, for the many payoffs.

By the way, this is something that was sort of stolen from me in childhood. I was a bookish kid, and for whatever reason I really didn’t get swept up in neighborhood pickup games of whatever sport. So I never learned a lot of common athletic skills, and to this day I swear I never had a physical education “teacher” (through secondary school) who actually took responsibility for teaching me any of those skills. It was all about running drills, or learning to play on the fly from my contemptuous (or at best condescending) classmates; in high school, half-subliminal gender policing was the only addition to the “curriculum”.

So I’ve been pleased at being able to reclaim physical training as a curative and as a joy in myself. And to all those lazy “teachers” who ignored my training back in the day: Eat my jockstrap!

B^p ,
M.